


Alone on Christmas Eve? God, You're Pathetic

by magatsuslut (pecanroll69)



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Character Study, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Touch-Starved, angsty adachi, but oh well, no smut but adachi talking explicitly about what he wants to do to reader, not sure if that's the appropriate tag, these tags are a fucking mess, unrequited pining for some kind of affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:46:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27858541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pecanroll69/pseuds/magatsuslut
Summary: in which adachi feels horribly lonely around the holidays and tries to console himself by asking you to come over for Christmas Eve
Relationships: Adachi Tohru/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	Alone on Christmas Eve? God, You're Pathetic

**Author's Note:**

> probably the most embarrassing adachi thing ive written, I almost didn't post it. please don't think I've gone soft or that I don't hold this man in the utmost contempt, but I just finished my 2nd playthrough of p4g and god he is such a lonely bastard. I think it's fun to explore that pitifully lonely side while also acknowledging he is a piece of shit. i hate him <3

The bitter winter wind bites at Adachi's cheeks and nose as he resentfully patrols the shopping district. It’s not like there’s anything to patrol at this time of day. The gaggle of gossiping housewives dissipated an hour ago when evening became dinnertime, and it’s not quite late enough for the post-work drinkers to make their way to Shiroku, which leaves few people aside from Adachi on the quiet streets. With every passing minute, the frigid air penetrates further beyond his poorly insulated clothes. Adachi shoves his hands deeper into his coat pockets and curses himself for somehow losing his only pair of gloves. Must have left them at the station. He glances into the shop windows to distract himself, but their warm light only makes him feel colder. Most windows are modestly decorated with multi-colored lights, and some even have accompanying gift displays and advertisements for holiday sales. He cringes. It's that time of year again: another lonely holiday season. His thoughts drift to you, his sole source of excitement in this boring hicktown, and for a moment he considers that the holidays might be less shitty if he spends them with you. He immediately shakes the idea from his mind– the two of you have an unspoken understanding that your sexual relationship will remain strictly sexual, and for good reason. There’s no use complicating great sex with asinine holiday rituals.

He shifts his gaze back to the road in front of him and, as luck would have it, he spots you coming out of the bookstore with a bag in one hand. He almost didn’t recognize you under the impressive amount of clothing you’ve put on to keep yourself warm. You look cute all bundled up, though. He gives you a little wave and a harmless smile before making his way over to you.

“You look cozy. Think you’ve got enough layers on?” His tone is light and cheery, the way it usually is when the two of you socialize in public.

“It’s way too fucking cold.” You readjust your scarf so it won't muffle your voice. "Can't hide out at Junes today, huh?"

He casts a sidelong glance, that deceptively sheepish look that you found so endearing when you first met him. It's still endearing.

"No. Dojima chewed me out for it yesterday, so I'm not going to push my luck. What about you? Are you Christmas shopping?"

You nod enthusiastically, your eyes twinkling. "Excellent work, detective. I'm making enough money now that I can get gifts for all my family and friends!" Adachi smiles, amused by your genuine excitement.

"Oh yeah? Do I get a gift too?"

You look up at him through your eyelashes, the corners of your lips lifting in a coquettish smile. "I have something in mind... It isn't something I can buy from a store, but I promise you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will." He pauses for a moment, not completely confident in what he's about to propose. "You wanna come over on Christmas Eve to show me?"

"Sorry, I can't. I'll be out of town for a few days to visit family." He furrows his brows and frowns, and you grin back at him playfully. "No need to pout. What, have the holidays got you feeling lonely?"

He rolls his eyes. "Hardly. It’s just that my apartment is freezing this time of year, and I could use the extra body heat." His hand settles at your hip and he steps a bit closer, lowering his voice to a sultry whisper that makes you melt. "C'mon, baby. I know a whore like you would have a lot more fun spending the night with me. I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to move."

Heat rises to your cheeks despite the cold. "That's tempting, but… s-sorry, I really can't."

His eyes bore into yours and hold your attention, as if willing you to stay in place until you've given him a satisfactory answer. “Just tell them your job won’t let you have the day off and you’ll visit them later. I’ll eat you out until you’re crying for me to let you cum, doesn’t that sound nice?” He slips his hand under layers of clothing to tease at your waistband, and his cold skin jolts you from the heat pooling between your legs.

You instinctively pull his hand away from your bare skin and envelop it with your gloved hands in an attempt to warm him up. He tenses up, not used to even simple affectionate gestures. He thought he had touched you in every way he could, but he was wrong. This feels different somehow. It occurs to him that the two of you have never held hands. You're always full of surprises– it's why he keeps you around, he tells himself.

“Tohru, your hands are freezing! Maybe I should just get you gloves for Christmas instead. That seems more efficient than fucking you for warmth. I thought you of all people would prefer to be self reliant."

Adachi shrugs, unable to come up with a snarky retort for once. “Maybe so. I still think my idea is better.” The hunger in his gaze is mingled with something you haven't seen before. It’s a subtle change, but it looks more like longing than hunger. There’s a hint of sadness, you think, and you feel a little sorry for him.

You smile reassuringly. "When I get back, we can have a belated holiday celebration, if you want. I'll cook dinner to make it up to you."

He covers up the brief show of genuine disappointment with a smug grin. "That's a good girl. You better get back here soon, though. I don't like to be kept waiting."

"I'll do my best.” You gently squeeze his hand before letting it go. He desperately hopes that you assume his flushed cheeks are a reaction to the cold rather than to your touch. “I have to finish shopping for gifts, so I'll see you later!"

"I should probably get back to work too. Have fun."

He slips his hand back into his coat pocket as you walk away. Your warmth seems to linger on his skin, though he knows he’s only imagining it.

What's wrong with him? Usually he'd be angry if you blew him off when he wanted to fuck you, but instead he just feels dejected. He should've scolded you more to put you in your place, or responded with nonchalance to show you that he couldn’t care less about you.

Adachi’s bad mood persists through the rest of his shift, his mind tormenting him with what-ifs. He should’ve dragged you into an alleyway when you were holding his hand and kissed you so fiercely that you’d remember just how much you want him. He imagines pinning your wrists above your head and rolling his hips against yours, whispering words he knows you love to hear. You're his, you shouldn't be going off and spending time with people he's never even met.

You're his, right? You shouldn't leave him all alone like this.

Adachi pours himself a glass of whiskey as soon as he gets back to his barren apartment, hoping the liquor will ease some of the pathetic loneliness he's feeling.

The alcohol burns as it goes down his throat. It's a poor substitute for your warmth, but it'll have to suffice. He exhales an exasperated puff of air. What good is a slut if he can't have you on a day when everyone else is having fun with their significant others? Not like you were dating, or that he wanted to date. It would just be nice to have you around. Maybe if you came over, he would've invited you to spend the night-- it really is far too cold in his apartment. He wouldn't make a habit of it or anything. You're still just a hole for him to get off into. But it could be nice, this once. He imagines your legs draped over his while you both watch TV to pass the time. His hand rests on your thigh, occasionally giving it a playful squeeze and flashing you a smirk to fluster you. He loves to see you embarrassed.

Ugh. _He_ should be embarrassed. Instead of numbing his feelings, the alcohol only made them more raw. He focuses his attention on the TV to distract himself from his uncomfortable and likely unrequited longing. You don’t need him to fill an emotional void, after all. Unlike him, you've got friends. People who give a shit about you.

Maybe it's for the best that you won't be here. He fully intends to keep his distance from you emotionally. It's physical closeness he craves; any intimacy beyond that is dangerous, and frankly not worth the effort.

It's easier being alone, he reassures himself while another sizable gulp of whiskey makes his throat tingle.

Of course it gets lonely. But it's easier.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is VERY different from my usual stuff and maybe seems out of character, but I think adachi is pretty nuanced and definitely more lonely than he lets on like beyond wanting to fuck (I'm looking at you, golden animation adachi). I think it's fun to explore the different sides of him, even though it's a bit challenging for me to portray both sides of his personality in one work
> 
> I love that one line in his social link where he talks about how he prefers being alone because it's easier, even though he admits to being lonely. although I think sex is the primary thing on his mind when it comes to reader, I imagine he has his "moments of weakness" (as I'm sure he'd dub them) where he wishes he could have an emotional (not necessarily romantic but who knows) connection with someone beyond superficial talk and joking around, which I imagine are the primary ways he would interact with reader outside of having sex


End file.
